A lost love...

I finished my prayers and got ready. I was going to meet an old college friend after four years. I must admit that I have been rather poor in maintaining communication with my friends and family. Therefore, I made a resolution I’d set aside time no matter how busy I was.

Abbas: What can I say about him? I had met him outside the library while waiting to use the computer. I saw a fair guy wearing spectacles and said “Hi! I am Maimuna,” “Hello, I’m Abbas” he replied. “Oh you’re a Muslim?” I had asked excitedly, “Yes” he replied. That had been the beginning of our friendship or acquaintance one could say. Many times we would meet outside the library. He was doing Science while I studied Architecture. He helped me out with how to use the computer and gave me lots of tips on emails and chat messengers. In our graduation too, we were together and were we so happy to graduate!

During a college function he had introduced me to Ilham, his school friend. She was the sweetest girl I had met and they both intended to get married after Abbas graduated and got himself a job. I thought they were made for each other and I was very happy for them. However, deep inside I had a premonition that it might be tough to convince their parents. You see Abbas was a Shia while Ilham a Sunni.

We lost touch after graduation. Occasional when we’d come online, we’d catch up on our master’s studies or work. Two years back Abbas gave me the sad news that both his and Ilham’s parents had refused their match and her dad had married her off. I felt very sad for him. He was a wonderful person and MashaAllah a good Muslim. I knew it must have been the sectarian division that would have caused this fate. It had been long since we had met although we stayed in the same city. Well as you all know, a city could be a continent for all we cared. So today I had decided, I would go and meet my friend.

We met at a coffee shop just like good old college days. Abbas had not changed at all. He did seem tired. He works twelve hours a day talking to various clients. I did notice that he was now more confident and talkative than when he was in college. “Meeting various people gives you that confidence” he told me. We caught up on all the good old college days, laughed on the funny way the professors would call out our names and what our friends were doing now.

I wanted to ask him about Ilham but I didn’t want to bring the old memories back. However, I guess he wanted to share it with me and he told me the whole story.

“I didn’t really tell you how I met Ilham. We were together in pre-university. I was just sixteen at that time. The first day I went to class, I sat by myself as I didn’t know anyone. She came a few days later. When she entered the room I couldn’t help but think she was beautiful. During our first year, we became friends and soon I liked her even more. She was kind and gentle and I could talk to her about anything and everything. I knew she was my soul mate.

One day I got the courage and told her I liked her a lot. I couldn’t tell her personally so I wrote her a letter. I asked her to be honest with me and tell me what she felt. Whatever was her decision I would accept it and our friendship would always remain. For the next few days she avoided me. I couldn’t bear that. I didn’t understand why. I asked her if she had read my letter. She said she hadn’t but I knew. I knew she had read it because I saw she was nervous.

Our college principal was eccentric. He did not like the girls and boys talking to each other and in case he caught any boy or girl conversing, he would shake with anger, get their parents to school and proclaim that they had committed the most horrible crime: “I caught your children talking to each other!!!” Oh my God, he was one crazy principal. I didn’t want to risk talking outside class incase he became the supreme justice and called our parents. So one day I followed her as she walked home. In the mid way I caught up with her and asked her frankly. “I know you read my letter. Please give me an answer. I don’t care whether it’s a yes or a no, but I need to know” Ilham had hesitated for sometime but then she finally said yes to me.

That day was probably the happiest day of my life. We continued to be best of friends and I knew that one day I was going to marry her. We graduated pre-university and she joined a girl’s college for her Arts while I went into Science. We kept in touch over the phone. She got a cell phone from her friend and her parents never knew about it for two years. Whenever she wanted to talk to me, she would give me a ring and I would call her back. We carried this on for three years.

After graduation, we got engaged. As you know we both had not yet told our parents. I was scared that they would refuse me because of the shia-sunni difference. She started getting lots of proposals which she rejected but one day she called me and told me that it was serious this time and that I had to talk to her parents.

I decided it was time. We had been waiting for the time I would finish my studies, have a job and go to her parents to ask for her hand. I left my masters midway and got a job. I then talked to my parents that I liked a girl; I knew her for the past six years and wanted to marry her. When they found out that she was a Sunni Muslim, they refused totally. I told them that it did not matter to me and that we both were Muslims and that is all I cared. They refused. They said what will the relatives think? What all the people will talk and so on.

That night I called Ilham and told her what happened. She started crying. She said she couldn’t see herself without me and I told her the same. We were both lost. We didn’t know what to do. I thought I would talk to her father and get his approval. Ilham gave me his number and I called him. I told him who I was and that I wanted to meet him for ten minutes. He asked Ilham what this was about and she told him who I was, How had we met in school and our intention to get married. His father had fumed when he heard I was a Shia. He said he would never give her hand to me and refused to meet me.

Ilham had begged, pleaded and even threatened to kill herself. That had no effect on him. He locked her in her room and made sure she did not leave the house. That evening out of frustration, she took sleeping pills with Pepsi. Her sister knocked at the door but she did not open. When she peeped through the window she saw Ilham lying on the bed as though she was dead. She got so nervous and she called me up. “Abbas, I don’t know what she has done. Her room is locked. I am so scared.” She was crying. I calmed her down while my own heart was racing. I told her to wake Ilham and get her to open the door. She did that and got Ilham to talk to me over the phone.

“What did you do?!” I asked her anxiously. “I took some sleeping pills”. My world had stilled. What if something would have happened to her? I could not bear the thought of loosing her. I talked to her at length and told her we had to be strong. Taking sleeping pills would not help. We had to convince our parents and look forward to our future. She promised me she won’t do it again.

We were running out of time. Her father was adamant to get her married elsewhere. She got her brother-in-law on her side and asked him to help us. Her brother-in-law was influential in the family. He called me once and asked me about my intentions. I told him that I wanted to marry Ilham and my intentions were pure. He tried to convince me otherwise that it was just a crush and I was a flirt and was trying to delude his sister. I told him that I was not that kind of a man and when I committed, I committed. He seemed convinced about me and actually promised that he would help us out.

However, at night when I called Ilham, she told me he had changed his face. He told Ilham’s dad that I was a no-good person and I wasn’t serious about marrying his daughter. He suggested another man for Ilham. When I heard that, my blood boiled. How dare him! How dare he do that to us after he promised he would help us!

We thought we had a helper but he turned out to be a villain. Ilham’s marriage was fixed to Javed, a salesman. He was two years younger to her. When he met Ilham, she told him indirectly that she was not interested and even implied that she was not of good character. I know it sounds illogical. In such situation logic does not work. Javed did not care. Ilham as you know has a beautiful heart which anyone could see. He agreed to marry her.”

“Why didn’t Ilham tell him about you and her? That would have deterred him.” I told Abbas

“We weren’t thinking right. She said the first thing that came to her mind and I was desperate. I didn’t want to loose my Ilham. I asked a friend for help and we dug up his work address and how he looked like. I went with my friend to his work place to seek for a person with his description. He was short and he had curly hair. When I didn’t find one, I asked one of the salesmen, “Where is Javed?” “He has left the job sir” Again I had met with a road block. I took Javed’s number from the salesman and went to a telephone booth to call him.

I told him I was his well wisher and that Ilham was not a good match for him. He asked me who I was and where I was calling from. I refused to give my details. He said “Alright fine” and put down the phone. That evening he reported this incident to Ilham’s father. Her father got the address of the telephone booth from the telephone company and went to investigate who had called at such and such a time. However, the address registered was wrong and anyways he would have known it was me.”

“Abbas, when you both had the strong intention to marry and if her father was refusing why you didn’t just get married to her?” I asked. I didn’t know why Abbas and Ilham were going through so much unnecessarily.

“We would have, but you know in Islam, the nikah of a girl is not valid without her wali, her guardian who is her father” he replied

“Yes I do know that my friend but surely you would also be knowing that if the wali refuses to marry his ward for no legitimate reason, the guardianship goes to the next male relative until finally the Kazi, imam i.e. the judge and he can act as the guardian and marry the girl” I told him.

“What!” Abbas looked at me in shock. “Is that possible?” he asked holding his forehead.

“Yes, of course. I thought you knew this. There are so many cases where the men due to their pride and false honor or beliefs refuse to marry their wards: daughters and those under their guard ship. These women have the right to go to the Judge and he would act as the guardian and get her married” I explained.

“Oh my God! We did not know this. All the while we were thinking our nikah would not have been valid without her father’s permission” Abbas was crestfallen. He realized that he lost the one girl in his life through a matter of ignorance.

I tried to console him. “It’s kismet Abbas. It was written from before. Otherwise during all this time you could have told me what was happening and I could have let you know but her faith was written before she met you”

“Yes” Abbas agreed. Still in shock. “Well to conclude our story, her wedding approached. We had failed. We couldn’t convince our parents. The night before her wedding we talked over the phone the whole night. Yet it felt as it if were just minutes. We remembered all the great years of our friendship. Finally I could hear the Fajr Adhan at her end. “Goodbye Ilham. Take care of yourself. Be a good wife and keep your husband happy” We both cried. This was it. This was our final goodbye.

My heart ached listening to Abbas. I could see his emotions clearly on his face. Which man could love a woman like this? I knew many of my friends who cried because their men were not strong enough to hold on to a relationship and here, my friend was crying because he lost the girl he had loved for six years. I felt like kicking myself. Why had I not been there for him? Why had I not told him about the guardianship? Why? For that I had no reply. Kismet was all I could think of.

“How is she?” I asked him gently. “I don’t know. After her marriage, we never contacted. I understood that she was now someone else’s. Last I heard from a few friends that she gave birth to a baby girl. All I can do is pray for her that she remains happy and her husband treats her well” he said.

“Yes, that is all we can do now. InshaAllah may be in this world she was meant to be for her husband and who knows, in the next world, you two will find each other… for eternity” I prayed.

“Yes, InshaAllah. That is all I can pray for too” he replied. “In the meantime I will move on, I hope to marry a pious lady and fulfill my duties”

“Yes, do that” I agreed with him. I wanted to see him happy. I hated to see him lonely and heartbroken. It had been two years and his pain might have reduced, but it was still there and so was the love. “I will pray you get a wonderful girl” I smiled at him. He smiled back yet his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Hidden deep within, I still could see his pain.

We finished our coffee in silence. There was nothing more we could say…